Man, its been a busy 3 weeks! Last Oct. 9, I started my second project for my Film 20AB class on cinematography and editing. What I did was I filmed my aunt making lasagna using (and at the same time experimenting with) a Canon MiniDV camera I had borrowed earlier from the school. It's not Spielberg, but at least it was clear and simple for my exercise. After some lengthy class sessions where we learn about using Apple Final Cut Pro (the editing software we will be using for the class), I transferred what I recorded on video in an iMac and started trimming my work (as of now, I'm still doing it and so is the rest of my class).
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Last Oct. 15, I went to the local theater to catch
"Team America: World Police" on its opening day, and I was never disappointed with what I saw! It's crude, immature, gross-out, politically incorrect, profane and funny as hell! Funnier than "Shaun of the Dead", "Anchorman", "Shrek 2" or even "The Terminal" combined! In other words, its probably the funniest film of the year so far in my opinion.
Another brilliant comedy masterpiece from the sick creative minds of Trey Parker and Matt Stone (the same people who gave us South Park), "TA: WP" not only is a political satire released in time for the crucial 2004 US elections, its also a hilarious send-up of those high-octane yet cheesy Jerry Bruckheimer action blockbusters (think Top Gun or Pearl Harbor). And to make it more interesting, instead of real-life actors playing the roles, they use marionettes! In other words, it's like that '60's British "Supermarionation" show "Thunderbirds", only with balls!
Upon watching this film, I learned a lesson that wouldn't probably be taught in a civics class ever.
There are three kinds of people in the world: dicks, pussies, and assholes. The film tells the story of an overzealous gang of anti-terrorist "global peace" enforcers known as Team America (the dicks in the film). Much of the film is intended to be a parody of the Bush administration's war on terror. Most of the heroes and villains represent extreme caricature of both conservative and liberal attitudes towards the war, and American foreign policy in general. The film also heavily parodies the cliches of other action movies (as I mentioned above). Team America is composed of their leader/mentor Spottswoode, Joe, the all-star quarterback from the University of Nebraska who's also a natural born leader in the field, Sarah, the top empathy from Berkeleys "school for the clairvoyant", Chris, the best martial arts expert Detroit has to offer who also has a strange hatred for actors, and Lisa, a top Princeton psychology major who specializes in how terrorists think and who's still grieving for the loss of her fiance Carson (himself a Team America operative). Their secret base is located deep inside Mount Rushmore and they are also assisted by a talking supercomputer who goes by the name of I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. (no joke!). Spottswoode hires a rising Broadway star named Gary Johnston (who earlier in the film performs a musical number called "Everyone has AIDS" for a "Rent"-like musical called "Lease") to infiltrate a terrorist group in Cairo who may be hiding some WMDs by posing as a Muslim terrorist (though with an unconvincing disguise). Meanwhile, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il (the asshole, who sounds like the South Park character Cartman only with a stereotypical Asian accent), sets into effect his evil plan to terrorize the world while at the same time utilizing the help of some misguided liberal Hollywood celebrities (the pussies!) led by Alec Baldwin, all of whom (like Sean Penn and Matt Damon) belong to the Film Actors Guild or FAG.
This is the part where I share some of the most funniest moments of the film, there's the opening sequence set in Paris in which Team America battles it out with the terrorists (one of whom looks eerily like Osama bin Laden) while at the same time blissfully unaware of the fact that they're destroying some famous landmarks like the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre in the process! There's also this funny confrontation between Kim Jong-il and UN weapons inspector Hans Blix (before Blix bites the dust):
Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix, OH NO! (Hans enters) --Oh, herro, great to see you again Hans.
Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today and your guards won't let me into certain areas.
Kim Jong Il: We been through this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destruction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around so I can ease the UN's collective mind.
Kim Jong Il: Hans! You're breakin' my barrs (he means "balls" of course - PML.) here Hans. You're breakin' my barrs.
Hans Blix: I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me see your whole palace, or else. Kim Jong Il: Or erse what...?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very, very angry with you. And we will write you a letter telling you how very, very angry we are.
Then there's the infamous sex scene! The film almost received a NC-17 rating (formerly known as an X rating) because of it, and they had to trim out parts of it. Even though it was edited, I still find it funny seeing two anatomically incorrect puppets going through various sexual positions! Here's the scene that precedes it, which is also funny stuff due to the intentionally lame romantic dialogue:
Lisa: I'm so confused, its too early for me to be having feelings for you.
Gary: Maybe feelings are feelings because we can't control them.
Lisa: Promise me you'll never die.
Gary: You know I can't promise that.
Lisa: Promise me you'll never die and I'll make love to you right now.
Gary (in a monotone voice): I promise I'll never die. (They kiss)
There's also the climactic scenes that takes place in Kim's palace where Team America fights off the Hollywood celebrities, who all die in a bloody and brutal fashion. And there's also the speech that sums up the "lesson" I mentioned earlier (profanity beware!):
Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck a asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are an inch and a half away from being assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this. If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit.
Other notables include scenes where the terrorists speak in giberrish ("Derka derka Muhammad jihad"), a lengthy scene where a character keeps puking as the music keeps building up, a scene where Michael Moore blows himself up and the Team America headquarters in the process, more godawful one-liners ("It's gonna be 9/11 times 1,000!" "You mean..." "Yes, 911,000.") and a pivotal scene where Gary must show his loyalty to the team by "going down" for his country.
But what's more funnier than those mentioned above are the songs. There's the rousing profanity-laced anthem "America, F--- Yeah" ("America ......F *CK YEAH! /Comin' again to save the motherf *ckin' day, yeah. /America ......F *CK YEAH!"), which is also made more funnier when it is later sung in a sadder tempo. And then there's also the song which probably has the highest chance of probably getting nominated for best original song in next year's Oscars (in my opinion, that is), I'm talking about Kim Jong-il's sentimental ballad "I'm So Ronery" (that's "lonely" for those who aren't grammatically challenged)! Lyric samples: "I'm so ronery. /So ronery, /so ronery and sadry arone. /There is no one, /just me onry. /Sitting on my rittle throne." There's also a song in the film which speaks about missing someone you love and at the same time dissing the film "Pearl Harbor"! Lyric samples: "I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, /he was terrible in that film. /I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, /he's way better than Ben Affleck. /And now all I can think about is your smile, /and that shitty movie too. /Pearl Harbor sucked, /and I miss you." They even re-used a song from a South Park episode about a montage during a montage aptly titled "Montage" (duh!). Lyric samples: "The hour is approaching to give it your best. /You got to reach your prime. /Thats when you need to put yourself to the test, /and show us all a passage of time. /We're going to need a montage. /(montage!) /Ooh, its gonna take a montage. / (montage!)"
Laughs and music aside, I like the film visually. Aside from the great use of puppets (courtesy of Norman Tempia and the Chiodo Bros.), the miniature sets were cool. They were done by production designer Jim Dultz (who had previously worked with Jim Henson) with David Rockwell (whose firm was behind the Kodak Theater and the sets of the Broadway musical "Hairspray") serving as consultant. Bill Pope, of all people, was the director of photography. He had previously worked as the cinematographer for the "Matrix" trilogy and the much-recent "Spider-Man 2". Karen Patch, who designed the puppet costumes, had previously worked on Wes Anderson's films and the comedy "School of Rock".
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My Internet connection in my home was temporarily disconnected until we paid the bill. Therefore, I had to endure 11 days without knowing what's going on with the world (beyond the newspapers) and missing out my regular sessions with my Philippine-based friends on Yahoo Messenger. A day before the connection was restored, I went to a nearby Internet cafe that charges $2 per hour (I was there for only 2 hours, but at least I was again online for a bit). In the meantime, I attended the pre-graduation banquet of my sister along with my mom(it was a like my JS prom, only with more tables and no dancing). It has been raining a lot lately in my area, a sign that summer has ended and fall is approaching. Nevertheless, I consider it a blessing in disguise since last year there were lots of wildfires in some areas of the state. As I'm writing this, it's no longer raining (Thank God!) and the Boston Red Sox baseball team are celebrating their first World Series title in 86 years (Take that, Curse of the Bambino!).
To quote from Jon Stewart (who weeks ago made a controversial appearance on the CNN debate show Crossfire, view clip
here), here now is your "moment of
Zen."
